I'm going to Ireland somewhere around the 21st of July, and returning somewhere around the 30th.

In my absence I will expect you children to behave well, and keep yourself clean, well dressed, and happily amused. Don't forget to feed the dog, and don't forget to brush your teeth, comb your hair, and take out the trash on Tuesday.

If you have an emergency, I've left Aunt Kathy's number on the fridge. Also, I've left you money for pizza. Don't go overboard.

Love,
Mom